it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize