they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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