Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
