Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
