she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
