and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
