with your own penis?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize