What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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