"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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