Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
and you fell through a lawn chair
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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