And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
