summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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