we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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