the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
