I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
