hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
