You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
