bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
