I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
