I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
