I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
