How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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