You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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