I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
