i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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