I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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