Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
