it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
try to milk me bitch
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
