Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
