DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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