ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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