and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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