yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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