marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We won't sleep together?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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