Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
