highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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