i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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