Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I still have a little drunk in my system
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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