did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
