Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
