She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
