I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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