I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
