I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
