butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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