im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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