That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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