I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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