Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
