Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
