Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
