Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
