seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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