I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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