I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
