i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
