How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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