Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
