Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
