Sponge bath it is.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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