Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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