Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
